Making Love, Playing Power

Men, Women, and the Rewards of Intimate Justice

“By inserting inequality and power into the center of negotiating relationships, Dolan-Del Vecchio exposes the simplistic bromides of pop-psychologists like John Gray. Only by challenging power imbalances can we base our relationships on equality, and only by basing our relationships on equality can we ever really learn to communicate effectively.” – Michael Kimmel, author of Manhood in America

...brings the cutting edge of relationship therapy to the mass market. Family therapist and organizational consultant Ken Dolan-Del Vecchio debunks superficial theories about communication styles and gender roles as he gets to the real reason so many relationships are in trouble — misuse of power. Making Love, Playing Power reveals how gender, race, sexual orientation, and money set the foundation for personal power, and how power as domination drives most conflicts whether between nations, interest groups, or individuals. Women will find Making Love, Playing Power uniquely inspiring and validating. Men will find it life-changing. This book shows how to reject the power of domination and realize the power of love. Dolan-Del Vecchio offers new and provocative “principles of love,” memorable case examples, and “action steps” that help readers make changes that bring lasting love.


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